I can relate--heavily. The work that comes with getting over friendship wounds is something serious... although I love connecting with ppl I always take it slow and I don't use the word "friend" lightly. Ppl get weird about women not having girlfriends but there are so many layers to it. I've walked into a room of my whole girl "friend" group laughing as one girl talked shit about me and then they all went silent... It's always something. I love community, and I pray to form meaningful connections but I'm happy to be at peace even if the price is being alone. "God's Entourage is enough for me"--I love that.
I have a conspicuously hard time keeping friends, and it's not like you can give someone an exit poll when they ghost you to find out why they did it. And as much as I exist on the fringe of society (see my Substack!) I still find it's hard to break free of some of our cultural conditioning especially in regards to expectations for personal relationships. So yeah, this post helped a lot. Not to embrace loneliness per se, but to embrace the kinds interactions I am good at—spontaneous short bursts of compatibility.
It doesn’t happen often when a substack piece grabs my attention but yours definitely did, with great satisfaction and relief. As someone who doesn’t have friends, I recently realized that it’s okay to have none. It’s better to have no friends than bad friends who aren’t even aligned with us. “ I just refuse to force it, I want it when it’s ready “ I’m also very observing and decide if someone has a place of importance in my life or not. Thank you for this piece and for your vulnerability, it helps others!
ah, you navigate the ephemerality of human connection with such clarity. i’m also someone who’s never been part of a friendship group. i used to think i was getting in my own way but i actually just needed to accept that i’d much rather talk to a friend for 4+ hours in full concentration than have to fracture myself adhering to the politics of bouncing of 4+ friends, the theatre of it. thanks for sharing ✍🏾
I can relate--heavily. The work that comes with getting over friendship wounds is something serious... although I love connecting with ppl I always take it slow and I don't use the word "friend" lightly. Ppl get weird about women not having girlfriends but there are so many layers to it. I've walked into a room of my whole girl "friend" group laughing as one girl talked shit about me and then they all went silent... It's always something. I love community, and I pray to form meaningful connections but I'm happy to be at peace even if the price is being alone. "God's Entourage is enough for me"--I love that.
Come on!!! “I’m happy to be at peace even if the price is being alone”
I've ditched people who make me feel "drained" after hanging out. A friend shouldn't make you feel that way in my opinion.
Nope. A friend should bring great comfort and security
I have a conspicuously hard time keeping friends, and it's not like you can give someone an exit poll when they ghost you to find out why they did it. And as much as I exist on the fringe of society (see my Substack!) I still find it's hard to break free of some of our cultural conditioning especially in regards to expectations for personal relationships. So yeah, this post helped a lot. Not to embrace loneliness per se, but to embrace the kinds interactions I am good at—spontaneous short bursts of compatibility.
Thank you for reading! ☺️
It doesn’t happen often when a substack piece grabs my attention but yours definitely did, with great satisfaction and relief. As someone who doesn’t have friends, I recently realized that it’s okay to have none. It’s better to have no friends than bad friends who aren’t even aligned with us. “ I just refuse to force it, I want it when it’s ready “ I’m also very observing and decide if someone has a place of importance in my life or not. Thank you for this piece and for your vulnerability, it helps others!
Thank you for reading ❤️ i appreciate it
ah, you navigate the ephemerality of human connection with such clarity. i’m also someone who’s never been part of a friendship group. i used to think i was getting in my own way but i actually just needed to accept that i’d much rather talk to a friend for 4+ hours in full concentration than have to fracture myself adhering to the politics of bouncing of 4+ friends, the theatre of it. thanks for sharing ✍🏾
I know I’m so perfect it’s crazy. 😏🤭
str8 macadamias honestly, teach me ✋🏾😌🤚🏾