I love how self assured you are. I’m 22, never been in a relationship before and I’m really insecure about it. People have told me that marriage is one the most important and aspirational things in life, yet a look around and so many marriages are miserable. I hope I’m able to detach from that narrative and be free. Love comes and goes. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it. I understand why you would be insecure about it because you haven’t experienced it yet. However, you will. Especially if you have standards and value yourself. Are you missing out on anything? Not really. Marriages are outdated. Marriages don’t fit into the new generation.
I’m an Irish Male Living in America. Everything You Said is Correct. And a Lot More. You Can Tell. & Write ✍️. A Discription of Marriage I Describe As This.
A Pair of Individual Rings Becomes Joined in the Legal Binding Process of Marriage. Therefore. Becoming a Pair of Handcuffs. 😳. Very Soon After.
Ownership/ Possessiveness/ Control. Change To My way Of Thinking 🤔. Etc. etc. To Love ❤️ Oneself First is Imperative. But That is Destroyed in the First 7 Years of Life. Fact. And Religion Knew This. 300 years ago They Said. Give Me Any Child for the First 7 Years. And I Will Tell You What The Adult Will Be. 😢😢. Don’t know if You Ever Heard of Gary Null. @ Prn.live. Or Garynull.com. Speaks of what You are Saying. And Natural Healing. Mind. Body & Soul. A Lot of Self Empowerment Videos and Documentaries. You Should Go to His Retreat in January. Birds of a Feather. 🪶. Flock Together. A Few Good Ould Sayings.
1- Choose Many. Pick Few. And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe. 🛶.
2- Eat when You are Hungry. Drink when you are Dry. Live for Today. For. Tomorrow You may Die.
3. - The more I meet People. The More I Like my Dogs 🐕.
As a 31 y old with a kid and married and on the other side of that, keep your freedom. If someone pressures you to marry then ask yourself why they need to force you into a govt contract? Can the love really be that deep if they need the govt involved? People deserve the right to ebb and flow in life. Govt marriage is just another way of religion trapping people for their weird value system
So winning the Nobel Prize, finding a cure for cancer, starting a business (just to name a few things) ain’t 💩, huh?
I’m not saying that to you so much as I’m saying it to people that made you feel insecure for being single. A relationship isn’t the end all be all. Life can be amazing, beautiful and love-filled without a romantic partnership.
Signed, a woman that’s been single her whole adult life.
I was literally going to write something so similar; I am 21, and I have never been in a relationship. Oftentimes, looking around me, it truly seems like I might never find anyone. But as of recently I realised that I have an anxious attachment style, and I was dating men who had shown that they never truly wanted to be with me. But I was caught up in the performance of trying to capture someone's heart. But now I know I have a lot of inner work to do. And I also set higher standards for myself. I am still insecure about it, but I truly want to be free from that expectation , of feeling the need to be with someone; even though sometimes it can get a bit lonely.
It definitely can get lonely but you have to remember what’s for you won’t be rooted in confusion. Chile confusion is the devils playground! There’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and bettering your life.
If I could do my 20’s over again I’d focus on cultivating community over relationships, and if in relationships, making sure they’re supporting me and not the other way around. Also I’d take care of my body more and have a baby when I was ready, rather than wait for “the one”.
I am happy that a lot of younger women are catching on to the deceptive methods used by the patriarchy to indoctrinate women into centering their lives around marriage. One particular method is convincing women that they diminish with age. (ie. the clock is ticking ) The patriarchy conditions women to view their lives through a lens of lack. Meanwhile, men have all the time in the world.
🎯 literally this. It truly is an indoctrination. As women we are waking up though and I love that for us Hell, I strongly advocate that for us! I left my 10 year relationship a few years ago and people are truly shocked when I say I’m happy without kids and a man. I’ve just turned 40 and have packed up my life to live on other side of the world and I LOVE the freedom! WE get to choose our life direction these days.
"it’s okay if I end up being someone along the way and not a permanent residency in his life" , I think this mentality opens up a lot of emotional freedom to love someone without fear or holding back, I don't think you can promise to love someone forever (marriage) but rather that's a choice you make everyday. Wonderful piece
“A love that eats me whole, moves in silence, and is open to change.”
If more people would step back for a minute to discover themselves, maybe we would have more independent and authentic human beings with less herd mentality. There is no truer freedom than embracing the choice to think for oneself with accountability.
Loved this! I'm at a part of my life where a part of me abhorrs marriage; being married at the age of 17 for 12 years and 3 kids later...was a devastating end. While also wanting to get married; to actually be chosen, truly loved and not out of convenience.
What a great read. As a neurodivergent woman I really felt the 'I walk into my house without wearing a disguise and that means a great deal to me.' point bc not having to mask/pretend is one of my absolute favorite parts of being single and childless lol. Love really is like a stray cat turned pet, it finds you and picks you, not the other way around. Spent wayyy too many years of my life thinking I was supposed to find love rather than enjoying the peace of solitude. Now that I am older I realize there's really nothing like the joy of getting to know one's own self and desires and dreams without the voices of others telling you who to be and what to want. Thanks so much for sharing this, and also shoutout to the bawdy girl, you look greaattt!
Having no kids at 31 is like being 21 but now you have money. 😌 there’s little to ponder about the phrase except that, I’m always waiting for some companionship, and I’ve seen through my best friends that having kids is one of the most magical things that will happen to us. For now I skip, and prance through my own version of Neverland.
I’m 65 years old and have been single for 40 of those years until I met a wonderful man who turned into my best friend, lover and provider. I’m not saying that you have to wait as long as I did, but if you truly know your worth it will happen. You are beautiful on the outside, probably as beautiful within, but take it from me, know your worth. Sincerely Anne.
Marriage is a word with more baggage than an Amazon suitcase warehouse. Two people are either joined at the heart, or not. Most marriages I know of are karma-based, not love based. I married young, a daughter conceived of lust was the catalyst. I never loved her mother, and after 17 years of being bound, I left, and she was able to get a “real” husband. That was half a lifetime ago, and I was never compelled to engage the noose again. Lotsa karma in the interim, but love? Not so much.
I love how self assured you are. I’m 22, never been in a relationship before and I’m really insecure about it. People have told me that marriage is one the most important and aspirational things in life, yet a look around and so many marriages are miserable. I hope I’m able to detach from that narrative and be free. Love comes and goes. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it. I understand why you would be insecure about it because you haven’t experienced it yet. However, you will. Especially if you have standards and value yourself. Are you missing out on anything? Not really. Marriages are outdated. Marriages don’t fit into the new generation.
I’m an Irish Male Living in America. Everything You Said is Correct. And a Lot More. You Can Tell. & Write ✍️. A Discription of Marriage I Describe As This.
A Pair of Individual Rings Becomes Joined in the Legal Binding Process of Marriage. Therefore. Becoming a Pair of Handcuffs. 😳. Very Soon After.
Ownership/ Possessiveness/ Control. Change To My way Of Thinking 🤔. Etc. etc. To Love ❤️ Oneself First is Imperative. But That is Destroyed in the First 7 Years of Life. Fact. And Religion Knew This. 300 years ago They Said. Give Me Any Child for the First 7 Years. And I Will Tell You What The Adult Will Be. 😢😢. Don’t know if You Ever Heard of Gary Null. @ Prn.live. Or Garynull.com. Speaks of what You are Saying. And Natural Healing. Mind. Body & Soul. A Lot of Self Empowerment Videos and Documentaries. You Should Go to His Retreat in January. Birds of a Feather. 🪶. Flock Together. A Few Good Ould Sayings.
1- Choose Many. Pick Few. And Always Paddle Your Own Canoe. 🛶.
2- Eat when You are Hungry. Drink when you are Dry. Live for Today. For. Tomorrow You may Die.
3. - The more I meet People. The More I Like my Dogs 🐕.
As a 31 y old with a kid and married and on the other side of that, keep your freedom. If someone pressures you to marry then ask yourself why they need to force you into a govt contract? Can the love really be that deep if they need the govt involved? People deserve the right to ebb and flow in life. Govt marriage is just another way of religion trapping people for their weird value system
#felt
So winning the Nobel Prize, finding a cure for cancer, starting a business (just to name a few things) ain’t 💩, huh?
I’m not saying that to you so much as I’m saying it to people that made you feel insecure for being single. A relationship isn’t the end all be all. Life can be amazing, beautiful and love-filled without a romantic partnership.
Signed, a woman that’s been single her whole adult life.
I was literally going to write something so similar; I am 21, and I have never been in a relationship. Oftentimes, looking around me, it truly seems like I might never find anyone. But as of recently I realised that I have an anxious attachment style, and I was dating men who had shown that they never truly wanted to be with me. But I was caught up in the performance of trying to capture someone's heart. But now I know I have a lot of inner work to do. And I also set higher standards for myself. I am still insecure about it, but I truly want to be free from that expectation , of feeling the need to be with someone; even though sometimes it can get a bit lonely.
It definitely can get lonely but you have to remember what’s for you won’t be rooted in confusion. Chile confusion is the devils playground! There’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself and bettering your life.
Thanks so true if I’m confused then it’s not meant for me. Something I’m really trying to apply in different aspects of my life.
If I could do my 20’s over again I’d focus on cultivating community over relationships, and if in relationships, making sure they’re supporting me and not the other way around. Also I’d take care of my body more and have a baby when I was ready, rather than wait for “the one”.
Thank you for reading 💕💕
I'm 44 and I've always been single. I hate it so much.
I am happy that a lot of younger women are catching on to the deceptive methods used by the patriarchy to indoctrinate women into centering their lives around marriage. One particular method is convincing women that they diminish with age. (ie. the clock is ticking ) The patriarchy conditions women to view their lives through a lens of lack. Meanwhile, men have all the time in the world.
Exactly
🎯 literally this. It truly is an indoctrination. As women we are waking up though and I love that for us Hell, I strongly advocate that for us! I left my 10 year relationship a few years ago and people are truly shocked when I say I’m happy without kids and a man. I’ve just turned 40 and have packed up my life to live on other side of the world and I LOVE the freedom! WE get to choose our life direction these days.
yep. I've always seen marriage as a prison. Like, what is the point exactly?
"it’s okay if I end up being someone along the way and not a permanent residency in his life" , I think this mentality opens up a lot of emotional freedom to love someone without fear or holding back, I don't think you can promise to love someone forever (marriage) but rather that's a choice you make everyday. Wonderful piece
Yes, you understand! Thank you for reading 🤭
you be fuckin SPITTIN
Thank you for reading. So do you!! That’s why I’m always waiting for you to drop 😭 everything you say I feel in my CHEST.
ahh!! you have taste so these words hold!
This explains so much of my hesitancy surrounding marriage. You put it in beautiful words for me 🙏🏼 thank you
thank you for reading!! When you have some free time watch James sexton (divorce lawyer) on YouTube!
Love that you said this because I’ve been meaning to for a while!
“A love that eats me whole, moves in silence, and is open to change.”
If more people would step back for a minute to discover themselves, maybe we would have more independent and authentic human beings with less herd mentality. There is no truer freedom than embracing the choice to think for oneself with accountability.
I love this piece. Thank you for sharing. 💛
Thank you for reading !!
Marriage is not for everybody, having children is not for everybody. Making our own choices is our birthright.
Loved this! I'm at a part of my life where a part of me abhorrs marriage; being married at the age of 17 for 12 years and 3 kids later...was a devastating end. While also wanting to get married; to actually be chosen, truly loved and not out of convenience.
Yes! I agree. Thank you for reading Corrine 💕
What a great read. As a neurodivergent woman I really felt the 'I walk into my house without wearing a disguise and that means a great deal to me.' point bc not having to mask/pretend is one of my absolute favorite parts of being single and childless lol. Love really is like a stray cat turned pet, it finds you and picks you, not the other way around. Spent wayyy too many years of my life thinking I was supposed to find love rather than enjoying the peace of solitude. Now that I am older I realize there's really nothing like the joy of getting to know one's own self and desires and dreams without the voices of others telling you who to be and what to want. Thanks so much for sharing this, and also shoutout to the bawdy girl, you look greaattt!
Thank you for reading 💕
This was such a great read. I was captivated the whole time.
Thank you for you reading !! Truly!! 💕💕
So much wisdom in here. I absolutely love it.
Thank you for reading!! 💕💕💕
Having no kids at 31 is like being 21 but now you have money. 😌 there’s little to ponder about the phrase except that, I’m always waiting for some companionship, and I’ve seen through my best friends that having kids is one of the most magical things that will happen to us. For now I skip, and prance through my own version of Neverland.
Amazing article! These two lines were my favorites:
(1) “Love starts with yourself first and everyone should be second to the relationship you have with yourself.”
(2) Unfortunately, newlyweds invest more time and energy into their wedding day than their actual relationship.
I’m 65 years old and have been single for 40 of those years until I met a wonderful man who turned into my best friend, lover and provider. I’m not saying that you have to wait as long as I did, but if you truly know your worth it will happen. You are beautiful on the outside, probably as beautiful within, but take it from me, know your worth. Sincerely Anne.
Thank you for reading 😘
Marriage is a word with more baggage than an Amazon suitcase warehouse. Two people are either joined at the heart, or not. Most marriages I know of are karma-based, not love based. I married young, a daughter conceived of lust was the catalyst. I never loved her mother, and after 17 years of being bound, I left, and she was able to get a “real” husband. That was half a lifetime ago, and I was never compelled to engage the noose again. Lotsa karma in the interim, but love? Not so much.
Because you are intelligent
Thank you for reading