Dear Heavenly Father, my eggs are locked in a vault

Let’s start off with my age since everyone thinks all young women want the same thing. Mic check, we don’t. Anyway, I’m 27 years old born December 23, 1996. According to statistics a lot of great things happen that day and year. I’m proud to say I was a part of history. Moving on children, let’s get into these fallopian tubes! If someone in my family or a colleague ask me one more time about “motherhood” I’ll scream. The pressure to become a container for a child should be consider verbal assault. I’m not kidding and it’s also rude to assume women all have the ability to have children.

I was born into a large family, my sweet mom-mom June married John Smith (yes that’s their real names) lol and had 7 children. 5 girls and 2 boys and their children went on to have children and so on and so on. I’m one of the few outside of my uncle who doesn’t have children. My family is Christian and I opted out of Christianity due to not caring what anyone thinks about how I live my life. My relationship with God is more important than going to church and gossiping about the pastor sleeping with so and so, yeah. If you were born into religious family who go to church and bible study you know the church is messier than high school locker rooms and hallways. Anyway children! Let’s move along. Majority of the women in my family tie their self esteem to being a mother, they base their identity around it. I find it to be annoying because I believe women are capable of much more. We truly are, women in tech, women in architecture, women in engineer, women in literature arts, I mean I can go on and on about the great things women do outside of having a cute fat baby.

The theory on motherhood and the reality is two different spectrums. The reality is the weight gain, hormonal acne, diabetes, scaring and raw nipples from breastfeeding. I mean none of this sh*t sounds fun! I’m sorry it scares the sh*t out of me. I applaud stay at mothers and mothers who work you guys will never get the reward and credit you deserve because society thinks “welp, she signed up for this.” I see how mothers are treated by the general population and it’s heartbreaking. Pregnant woman get discarded all the time. Let’s get into the 6 week maternity leave bullsh*t. In other countries married couples get off up to 1 year with their child and I believe that’s more than enough bonding beings tho the first year is crucial for the newborn baby but in America? Nope. All you get is 6 weeks. Once your doctor clears you, that’s it back to capitalism or should I say back to black like Amy Winehouse (r.i.p) that will always be my girl!

I never thought of myself as being a birthing mother or wife. I always said if I were to have children then yes I will get married just for the children security and for that reason alone. To me, motherhood means different things: volunteering at the hospital to hold newborn babies, babysitting, donating to kids sports teams, buying girl-scout cookies, community, etc. That’s more of my speed. I don’t need to have a child to feel complete or to feel like a “real” woman. I’m a vain woman, I love my body as is, I love my hair, skin and nails. The lifestyle I’m aiming towards, I don’t think it will be fair to my unborn child to make permanent residency in it. I love to travel. I’m the type of woman that will put my baby on flight after flight baby we are out of here! Whether the father is coming or not. I need to travel and be expose to different cultures. We are bound by nothing and I laugh now but deep down I know my unborn child deserves a stable home.

Another unspoken token that mothers don’t talk about is how different men look at you after you pushed a baby out via coochie. The audacity these men have to switch up and act like they didn’t participate. I would be in jail the moment I got a little inkling that the father of my child started to act funny. Even though I don’t have children of my own, I am very sensitive about children as a whole. I do not negotiate or neglect any child that is in my care. I don’t play those games. Another reason for saving my unborn child from their ghetto mother antics cause the baby dad want to act like a child himself.

Lastly, if you’re a woman who’s been dating for a while you realise quickly nothing is 50/50 with men. Me, personally, I don’t want a 50/50 relationship, I prefer magic. Whatever the magic I’m in the mood for. Traditional relationships are boring to me, maybe because I am writer and I often daydream of creating whatever world I want to exist plays a huge part in my mating selection. A lot of men want the illusion of a wife, the illusion of the family meanwhile he’s off with the guys for the third time this week. You guys ever watch that show “Snapped” yeah that’s me sisters. Thats why I keep a 6ft distance from men all together because I will take it there and to the grave if I need to.

Speaking of men, a lot of men lack personality. The ones with money think they Jeff Bezos/Elon Musk and the broke ones think their penis is currency for them to move into your apartment and drive your car while you’re at work. I wish I would. Never in my life, not even in the afterlife. You rip the skin off your back for men and they will repay you by leaving you for the next hot thing! If I have to opt out of motherhood to protect myself then that’s what I will do. I rather regret not having children than be in prison because a man couldn’t live up to his word and role as a husband and father. To each its own. Good day ladies. Be safe.