“Being dropped by a friend after one argument when they give shitty men 1000 chances is funny ngl lol” is the meme I came across while scrolling on Substack. This country does a great job attempting to make every event black and white when life itself is situational. There are three sides to a story and four sides to the truth, in this case, there’s three people intertwined in a relationship with one person in common. The boyfriend is “shitty” to the girl’s bestfriend and now the girl and her best friend are no longer speaking. There are multiple ways I can cut this cake but let’s start with the corner piece.
Women are territorial like cats, when one finds themselves embarking on new friendship, it happens sudden with enormous passion. They can’t believe they found another version of themselves in human form. The beginning of friendship is great, both women are single, childless and spend most days talking and hanging out. Until one of the ladies start to date, that’s when the motive of the friendship will be revealed. Was their friendship built on solid ground or convenience? Friendships are like flowers, beautiful yet poisonous, one doesn’t know the flower isn’t safe until it’s too late, some know immediately.
The heart wants what it wants and there is nothing you can do to stop the heart from beating where it has the most rhythm. “Toxic” is often misused and misplaced, what may be “toxic” to one person maybe normal to another. We will all extract different experiences from people, there is no one way to arrive at destinations and taking that into consideration your friend may fall in love with anyone.
One of my ex-best friends started to like me and I didn’t notice but my family did. I denied it, my family can be dramatic but looking back at the material the signs were there. I couldn’t see it because I saw her as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. I understand how friends can fall in love with each other because the level of vulnerability is infused with trust and loyalty, a phenomenon heterosexual relationships don’t experience often. This situation made me think “Are women default lesbians, if so, when was someone going to say something?” lol I dated a stud for a while and I enjoyed it, not as in “experimental” more as, this girl been wanting me for a long time and I finally said yes. She’s darkskin, low cut like a boy, has a gap that my clitoris adored, androgynous features and we fell in love. I understand why women are lesbians, really, I do, however I never fell in love with any of my female best friends.
Women are control freaks which is why they may feel comfortable voicing their opinions, especially to women they are close to. “If I give someone advice and they don’t take it, I’m never giving them advice again.” I understand their argument, but has it ever occurred to anyone that some people think out LOUD? Some people must hear themselves talk and bounce ideas off each other to reach a solution. Your friend values your advice but the friendship isn’t a dictatorship, relax sergeant lol. Getting yourself worked up because someone isn’t “listening” to you, your friend isn’t a child, they are an adult who makes decisions on their own.
I been friends with both men and women who dated terrible people, and I kept my comments to myself unless advice was asked. When I’m someone’s friend, I enjoy them for who they are and can be, I understand life can be complicated and certain events cannot be fixed via advice. I had friends say, “why did you let me stay with that weirdo!” I laugh in confusion like ummmm…. What was I going to do? You were in love lmao. I value friendships and If I must keep my comments to myself to protect the years I invested, I will do it with honor. Most of the time the idiot your friend is dating won’t last long, let nature run its course and sit back to let it fall apart on its own. No need to bombard anyone with analogies and statistics.
There are women who like to police other women vaginas OR can be envious they’re getting dick down and they aren’t, yes, this is a real thing. You and your friend may have jokingly vowed to abstinence, and you slip and have sex with someone, you tell her, and she starts to make smart comments about this lighthearted vow. “I thought you said you weren’t having sex.” Blank stare into space…. Ummm… yes, it was a joke, and he was tall, dark and handsome. I really needed some dick. You find yourself explaining yourself to a friend who presumes to know and understand you. Are you my OBGYN or friend? Bitch you can’t be both because your only licensed to be my friend not the coochie doctor!
If you been cut off by a close friend and watched her, give a shitty guy 1000 chances, honestly let go and let God intervene. No need to doubt your loyalty and devotion to the friendship, keep in mind when people are in love, they do stupid things, and we often hear that common saying “love is blind.” You may have stronger boundaries and self-esteem then your friend, on the outside it could appear that you share common confidence but deep down you don’t know how she honestly sees herself, and confidence is an inside job. In her mind, she could totally feel she deserves the guy she gives 1000 chances to OR there could be unresolved trauma that she hasn’t inform you about, the root of why she picks certain men can stem from anything and there’s honestly nothing you can do speaking from experience but just to wish her well and move on.
Lmao, i've seen that meme plenty of times. The first time it was like haha, okay. But then I kept seeing it and it and I realized wait they're not just throwing a little funny shade, they deadass are harboring some real resentment and are not just joking LMAO. Youre platonic friend doesnt going to treat you like theyre romantic partner and youre.......... surprised? Like I get the sentiment, but maybe just realize that person isnt the friend you thought they were and find another friend who values and prioritizes friendships as much as they do other relationships