A New Husband and A Cup Of Water
It means the cell doesn't grow old, it becomes immortal. Keeps dividing, doesn't die. They say aging is a natural process, but it's actually a fault in our genes. - Lena
Dr Ventress: Then, as a psychologist, I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction. Almost none of us commit suicide, and almost all of us self-destruct. In some way, in some part of our lives. We drink, or we smoke, we destabilize the good job... and a happy marriage. But these aren't decisions, they're... they're impulses. In fact, you're probably better equipped to explain this than I am.
Lena: What does that mean?
Dr Ventress: You're a biologist. Isn't the self-destruction coded into us? Programmed into each cell?
As you guys know I LOVE movies, they provide a mini mental vacation from responsibilities and as a writer/author it helps strengthen my writing skills. I prefer to watch movies/TV shows with subtitles to visually see the word placement and to discover words I never heard of. I consider myself a movie nerd, yes, I have an IMDb account, and every movie or TV show I watch, I add to my watchlist, discovering the top billed cast members, writer(s), director, trivia, soundtrack (a cool way to discover music), and much more. Movies heal me the way literature does, a great story lingers in your soul, never escapes you because it's meant to stay with you forever. I can go on and on how some movies sharpen my vision and help me see life through. Words cut deep and I believe they’re supposed to, not with the intention to harm but to reveal memories that were less reliable, God doesn’t allow you to skip steps neither does the art of storytelling. The movie I’m going to introduce will require you to empty your mental trash can, sit down, turn the lights and phone off and pay attention to e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! My first watch I was arrogant, assumed I knew the message of the story, until one day when I was out on a walk, the visuals of the movie crept inside my brain, slowly like when you walk into the library. I stopped walking, turn around and began to walk home. Annihilation, ladies and gentlemen is too ugly for polite conversation, sometimes life has no explanations, just victims.
When I think about my little deaths and rebirths, I instantly get emotional. What was the lesson? What did I gain? How much have I lost? Are the questions I frequently visit. I don’t search for answers as I realized that is the mortal way of living. Some scientist theorized that cells don’t get old, they become immortal, keep dividing, doesn’t die, then why aren’t we taught to look forward to shedding our skin? Why have society ingrained fear into the rebirth process? What if the best way to respond to change is to immortalize yourself aka purposely choosing the path not taken. In my non-scientist opinion, aging isn’t a natural process, it’s a fault in our genes. I’ve always wondered who was in control of humanity, I’m not speaking politically here, I think what I’m trying to say is… who had sex with gods to then breed a half god half mortal? The root of suffering for humans is attempting to gain access to everything that was lost along the way. Fun fact: 61 million years ago our bodies use to produce vitamin C (nerding out a bit) Pseudogenes are genes that were once active and now are dead, scientist have found 20,000 of them in our genome. They are the result of ancient gene duplication, this happens when a gene is duplicated into two identical daughter gene, one copy dies and leaving one copy functional.
The way our genes mutate can be good, it creates opportunities for evolution. Which always brings me back to why are mortals afraid and hesitant towards change? If our genes are constantly going through mutation why can’t we have a better grasp on our own mishaps? Everyday our immune system is fighting air pollution, corn syrup, microplastics, etc. The moment we experienced our first cyber attack (allegedly) everyone panic. Our bodies are in survival mode 24/7 and I believe we should put that into perspective before we go down a continuous cycle of a Kim Kardashian losing a diamond earring moment.
When sudden shifts changes and the tides are high, we often wonder who casted a spell against us, voodoo, evil spirits, etc. In my spiritually quest that will be everlasting because there’s no ceiling to growth – nobody worked against me, there was no supernatural entity, it was the mirrored version of me, and I attacked it (myself). I didn’t want anything from myself, I was building myself brand new. The brainwashing via religion made me believe it was this “thing” and I could pray my problems and weakness away. The entire time, it was f*cking me! It wasn’t the sex, drugs, partners, families and capitalism, it was me. I’m not forcing you to believe in my theory, I’m forcing you to believe in yourself because you have the ability. “Mental illness” and I put quotations around it, not to dehumanize mental health but to prove my point that our bodies are trying to make something new and as a society we have lost sight to the function and representation of our DNA and genes. Genes are aliens in the sense where they represent growth and survival while mortals represent destruction. Everyday we clone ourselves, some parts make it and some parts die off. The purpose of why we are here will always remain in plain sight, if you are willing to see.
What if the purpose of struggle is to transform us into energy? If you have traveled to places that are underdeveloped, you see joyous people. What does that mean? Sometimes the happiest people have less and people who have everything are miserable. Should we call that a coincidence? Yes, money will improve our level of comfortability but outside of the money and material things, are we fulfilled with what and who we are? I have lucifer tattooed on me twice, back of my thighs, while mortals freaked out about my permanent ink decision, to me, it was a reminder not only does evil exist but at moments there is paradise in Hell. Meaning the best parts of me are often lost along the way, stored in places I’m subconsciously afraid to visit, a place some fear to go metaphorically speaking. The primary goal of our mishaps is to make us understand extraterrestrial or God-like intelligence and yes some may argue that religion is a representation of that… but is it really? Do we need religion to understand challenges and trials? No, I don’t think we do. I believe we have everything coded into us already, no need to look ahead when everything has been written a million times over. Destruction ends when you and your mirrored-self face the creation of something better.
Society obsession with conquering people, places and things is the reason for the mortal downfall. Humanity ego is full of cowardice and deceit, while Earth remains the only thing not playing make believe. As I grow less young, my strength grows for what’s to come and I am no longer taken aback when rivalry appears, once the thickness of the air changes and I smell grass, it is a reminder no matter how far I think I’ve came in my rebirth …. another little death will be enroute. According to our genes, we are not who we were yesterday, we adapt, mutate and sometimes absorb our environments. Speaking of absorption, I want people to allow their thoughts to come and go, do not hold onto to them, there is no point. We are made of millions of genes and most date back to millions of years ago. Those unsolicited thoughts you have about yourself doesn’t belong to you, consider it merging from another body that is no longer here. Time is a flat circle with a window seat.
I would like to circle back to my theory on Hell and evil, if you allow me, (If you are a bible thumper please exist my blog). My conclusion, is that hell and evilness plays a crucial role in our development, you cannot have one without the other. I stay away from cult groups that sing the same song and tales of a perfect world. None of that shit is ever going to happen, I’m not pessimistic, in order for there to be a utopia we would have to start from scratch and I’m assuming that’s what the alien Elon Musk is trying to do. We need a new planet and that will take time, while I’m on earth I will strengthen my knowledge about the underworld and use it as an aide to guide me through mortal life. I’ve always been intrigued with darkness/horror, there’s inspiration there if you allow yourself to see it. All evilness isn’t bad, some of it is necessary, to prove a point or to make yourself taller.
Cool write up. Your stuff always gives me something to think about.
Sick Sad World...I used to love that show. I had a crush on Jane.